You can’t deny the fact that Christmas has become removed from its original meaning of the birth of Christ, and a time to reflect on the bounties of the year that has been with your family and loved ones. And thank god for that, ‘cos it’s made way more room for drunken parties and novelty office giving. Here’s the definitive guide for what to get your colleagues this feative season.

For the office

Better beverage distribution by Little Whizzer

Try Monkey-Picked Tea for something a little more adventurous than English Breakfast

Peer reviews are over and you still have your job! The time is ripe to whinge about your crappy duties with these passive aggressive fold-back clips!

Some like it hot! Give the gift that keeps on giving, even after you’ve been pulled into yet another last-minute meeting, with the USB Cup Warmer!

Hahahaha! Look at him go! Racy enough to raise a grin, but not offensive enough to warrant an official harrassment warning, how about this frisky puppy USB!?

For the ladies

Barbie‘s finally driven her pink Corvette onto the information superhighway! iPhone and pink laptop not sold separately!!

Anyone who appreciates the male form and/or cute baby animals will appreciate this Hot Guys & Baby Animals calendar!

For the fellas

With December comes an inevitable deluge of fancy-dress party invites. So why not save him the stress of the last-minute scramble for an outfit with these versatile clown trunks!

Gen Y

Gen Y – who knows what the hell they are talking about or what they do on the weekend? This motley crew are amongst the hardest for a secret santa to purchase for, but these snazzy flashing LED laces should be right up their alley, and sparkly enough to distract them from their plans to steal your job.

And if what I read in the papers is correct, there’s nothing Gen Y loves more than drugs and irony – so bong-smoking Jesus is sure to be a hit! Sacrelicious!

Festive

Where did you get that hat? Festive, sun smart… what more could you ask for?

Pooping Santa – HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! You can’t go wrong with toilet humour and candy.

And how about a zombie Santa brain tree ornament?

Geek

These 8 Bit oven mitts should keep geek fingers safe this chrissy.

And Star Wars fans are surprisingly well catered for this Christmas – choose from a Yoda tree topper, Darth Vader nutcracker or R2D2 light set.

Hey, but not all geeks are Star Wars fans! That’s a gross generalisation!!!! Some like Harry Potter, so why not say season’s greetings with this Severus Snape fish table ornament?

And for the colleague who has everything? Pretty sure they don’t have an erotic ass print!!!